Intuitive Eating Vs. Dieting
By, Katie Henry, MS, CNS-c (Nutritionist and Chef)
As someone who used to calorie count like their life depended on it, I know how difficult it is to believe that there is any other way to eat “healthfully.” I was MyFitnessPal’s biggest supporter, I used it for every. little. thing. I would track an almond, I would track a full meal, I would overestimate how much milk a “splash” was in my coffee so that I would be “over” my calorie intake for the day according to this app, while actually, I was significantly under. I figured, if I was lying to the app, telling it that I actually ate more than I did, if I wrote down that I burned 200 calories in a run vs 300+ calories in a run, then by cheating the system, the weight would come off easily. This was something that I did throughout college, throughout culinary school, throughout the 2 years leading up to my wedding.
When I got married, moved to Atlanta, started to work at my dream bakery where I would eat a pastry or two or five way before the sun came up, I would then run for at least an hour after work, mostly in the blasting southern sun, just to burn off those calories and trick everyone around me that I was healthy. I don’t write this to gain pity, I don’t write this for any “oh my gosh you poor thing” reactions, as I knew exactly what I was doing. I write this to tell you that I know how those of you feel who are doing this same thing, who are trying to trick themselves by eating all clean foods but eating only 1200 calories/day, who feel as though they need to earn certain foods, who have to burn off something that they ate, who feel like what they eat and how much they exercise defines them.
I didn’t change my ways when I was having panic attacks, I didn’t change my ways when my stomach was constantly in pain, I didn’t even care that my period was so off schedule, as I thought that these things were fine as long as I got smaller and smaller. It took me getting pregnant for me to change my mindset, to open my eyes and realize that my life was no longer about just me, but about the baby, too, and that I didn’t want our little one to suffer from what I did for almost my entire life—I didn’t want him to be afraid of food the way that I was.
When I first found out that I was pregnant, I read everything that I could to make sure that I was doing it all correctly, that I would grow the healthiest baby, that I would then have the healthiest baby. This was just another thing that I could control, make sure I ate all of the best foods to make sure he was the best, happiest, most wonderful little one. I continued to exercise, made sure to only have 1 cup of coffee max per day, usually would skip caffeine entirely, make sure I was gaining the appropriate amount of weight. After I had our healthy little one, I then made sure to eat the best that I could so that he would get all of the benefits via breastfeeding. This was a huge improvement from the Katie before I had our son, but I was still obsessing over everything that I ate, that he eventually would eat. Finally, when our son started to actually eat real food, that’s when I let up.
Now, at 32, after 20+ years of stressing over food, I am finally able to eat comfortably and focus more on nutrients and energy and happiness over appearance, over size, over what “sounds” the best. And through that, my son has been able to enjoy foods as well, runs around with the most energy and crashes during sleep! Like his mom, he loves chocolate and berries, loves hummus with carrots and chips, could eat rice and beans for every meals—I now eat intuitively, as that’s what kids naturally do (with some parental guidance, of course).
All in all, you can trust your body to know what it needs. It is going to keep you alive the best way that it can, so why not nourish it with incredible food, which includes chocolate, which includes chips and salsa, which includes hearty grain bowls. Give yourself permission to eat food for enjoyment as well as nourishment, to eat foods when you feel good or bad. It feels pretty dang amazing to have your life be fulfilling in every other aspect aside from what you eat each and every meal.
Overcoming the idea that we need to be X size, be so thin that our ribs show, be the one that says “no thank you” to dessert even though you have been craving a slice of pie or scoop of ice cream, is tough and can be lifelong work for many (myself included), but it is empowering to make every tiny step! Indulge in chocolate, in rest days, in relaxation; celebrate your body by doing movement that feels good, by nourishing it with nutrient-dense foods, by speaking kindly to yourself in the mirror—for me, I had a baby, that’s pretty dang impressive in and of itself!
Celebrate yourself, indulge yourself, love yourself, remember that you are more than a number on a pair of jeans.